May 2010 Archives
Please buy our $1000 product for all the wonderful things it will do with your inspiration. It will make you feel like an artist. Yes, it will occasionally and unexpectedly quit, causing you to lose everything you created in a day, but we've remedied this with a cute saying, Save Often Stupid, which puts the blame elsewhere. The real irony is that when you want to quit, our software will sometimes crash, causing an additional waste of precious time.
We realize we are the only industry that can sell an expensive product without working out all the bugs; that's because you can't test-drive a car without tires, brush your teeth without bristles in your toothbrush, or use a nail without a point so it's understandable a sale would not result without working out those bugs. But, in fact, offering a free trial gives us the advantage; thirty days is just long enough to enjoy all the good things we've built into the stuff but not nearly long enough to locate all the bugs. The fact that we don't know where all the bugs are in our product in no way makes us liable. In fact, once you open that cellophane, you own it because there are no returns. Now, you may think this is unfair; and to this sentiment, we say with great empathy and complete and utter understanding, tough cookies.
