UB Looney 2 ZUNEy
Oh, beat me about the head and neck with a big stick so I can have digital tunes. I would have more respect for Bill Gates and Microsoft if just once they would come up with an original idea instead of adopting everything Apple. Their latest “Make That Mine” idea is the ZUNE, a semiconscious parody of the iPod. Remember the PlaysForSure? That was Microsoft’s first attempt to knock the wind out of the iPod, taking only a few crumbs from Apple’s marketshare before it totally bombed due to a completely tedious interface between player, music retailers and software. Do your own thing, Bill--it’s obvious you can’t do what Steve Jobs does (which is innovate) so be a good boy and stick with boring apps for big blue, yeah?
Negotiating right up until the launch date, Universal finally pulled from his tight cold grip a one buck deal for each unit sold—that’s one for you and two hundred and fifty for us, thank you very much—hoping they would take an interest in marketing the player. Did anybody tell the music industry that there would be no ZUNE if there was no music and that maybe a buck wasn’t such a hot deal? Then we have to ask the music labels if the big innovation offered by ZUNE isn’t a bit like cutting off their nose to spite their face. Wireless music sharing is sorta like early Napster, trading a stolen commodity between friends, licensing fees cast to the wind.
Sorta like the sheriff’s department hawking radar detectors, isn’t it? It will make an expensive game of musical chairs now that we have three incompatible copy-protected standards: iPod, PlaysForSure and ZUNE (though it irks me to put the iPod in company like that). And of those three standards, which one will you invest in? Oh, yes, and the songs you beam can only be played three times in three days before they expire—including your own songs you might add if you have a band. You can beam a song to one friend, but it can’t be beamed again. Beam me up, Scotty.
What’s wrong with it besides longevity? You can’t use Windows Media Player to load, you have to install a less powerful Windows app especially for ZUNE, so get ready to learn something new. It comes in black, brown and white (that’s colorful) and in an age when thin is in, it’s two tenths of an inch thicker, three tenths of inch taller and seven tenths of an ounce heavier. Yes, it will make your butt look bigger. It has a “pretend” iPod scroll wheel—yes, that’s right, just like fake pockets on a jacket—four buttons hidden under a plastic ring. The touch sensitive turning wheel on the iPod is much more agile. Oh, and turning on the only innovation it offers, wi-fi, costs you one hour of battery life. The ZUNE wi-fi will only connect to other ZUNE users; not even a PC on a wireless network. Which begs the question, do you know anyone who owns a ZUNE so you can send or receive? Yeah, welcome to an extremely limited circle where you have to find the dots to connect them. And forget downloading podcasts, not that you’d want to on the excruciatingly slow ZUNE store.
Don’t sweat it, though, it’s a short term arrangement for a product with a short shelf life. The only people saying ZUNE is cool are paid to say it. Business as usual in PC land. Only those zoned out should ZUNE in.
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The product itself is obviously not innovative, what that ever comes out of Microsoft is? But keep an eye on the beaming and the wifi incorporation, we're going to start to see this functionality built into many devices and once that technology itself becomes ubiquitous...watch out! You heard it here first...!
Since my "with-it" approach to music ended about the time of The Weavers, I'm hard-pressed to keep up with the proliferating technologies surrounding the current music scene. But every (much) younger art director and designer I know sits at his or her work station with an iPod at hand and the buds in their ears.
Traditionally, Apple cuts the edge on technologies, establishing a beachhead; and Microsoft then exploits the breach with its heavier battalions. If someone was not the first to buy into the downloadable music technology, or even the second, a late adopter may be drawn to ZUNE, especially since Microsoft does have a habit of learning fairly quickly.
As it stands, Consumer Reports' "Annual Electronics Issue" (November, 2006) notes that the iPods lead in size, styling, ease of use and accessories; but points the way to other manufacturers such as Cowon, SanDisk, etc., for appropriate alternatives. I'll be interested in what CR adds to your review when ZUNE comes up in its pages.
"Rage, rage against the dying of the light" or wait until the following day to see if the sun will rise as per schedule? It is one more choice in these modern times.