November 2006 Archives
Like a football player’s knees, we have our weak points. Carpal tunnel syndrome is the leading cause of artistic demise now that almost everyone is sitting at a keyboard. For those of you who never leave your keyboards, don’t worry, your hands will just disconnect at the wrist one day as you make your way to the kitchen for a bottle of water (or spirits, whichever may be the case). For those of you unfamiliar with dead limb syndrome, the tendon that crosses the two bones at the wrist thickens due to overuse, injury and scarring. This scarring puts pressure on the delicate nerves that run through a small tunnel to the hand. Tissues and nerves become inflamed, and the inflammation fills the tiny space with fluid. This cuts off circulation and causes numbness, tingling and all sorts of pain in those who do not rest and recuperate at the first sign of discomfort. Eventually, the pain may become constant; the fluid permanently trapped. Over the years, it moves up to the shoulder and neck, following the nerve bundle. The worst cases also sometimes exhibit a nasty, golf-ball sized lump on the wrist, not very attractive to an aesthetically pleasing group like art directors and designers. Few people report marked improvement after surgery; and, in fact, the loss of strength will continue with age. Think twice before you let someone cut on the instrument of your art when the risks far outweigh the benefits. Of course, the old cure was a rapid whack on the fluid filled cavity in the doctor's office—to quote Dr. McCoy of the Star Ship Enterprise, “What is this, the dark ages?”
The meeting was finished, and the client, a middle-aged woman with two teenage boys shared her triumph in self control. She wanted to say she didn't lose her temper, and probably thought she was being pretty hip by saying,“I didn’t want to shoot my wad.” There were smiles all around, little don't laugh out loud smiles and eyes meeting eyes. All we needed was John Cleese of Monty Python to stick his head in the door and blurt out—”And now for something completely different.” Never trust a teenager to explain to their parents what something really means. Nudge, nudge; say no more.
Another lady of a similar age and tenure regularly graced our local public television station during pledge drive. She was English and appeared only during British comedy night, which also featured the popular science fiction show Red Dwarf. They took a pledge break right after Dave Lister tried to teach his cyber buddy Kryten to overcome his moral chip and insult Arnold Rimmer, a smeghead. There she was, this pert little elegant redhead sporting a lovely Coco Chanel suit, droning on in her ever-so-perfect Queen’s English, wondering what smeg was and asking the audience to call in if they knew. It was the shortest pledge break in the history of PBS.
