Wieners & Buns Stateside


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Creativity, as almost everybody knows, encourages thinking outside the box. Sometimes, this can get you into deep, deep trouble; other times, it can allow you to pursue your goal instead of supporting someone else’s without flagrantly appearing to break the rules. Politicians do it everyday on behalf of big donors to political campaigns. They call it access. People with access who need something from their politician don’t write a letter; they go to lunch with him at the country club. The politician isn’t breaking the law; silly, he’s just having lunch. The lobbyist isn’t buying influence; he’s courting access—wink, wink.

I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough.Clarie Sargent, Arizona Senatorial Candidate

At Art School, Beaton Hall was filled with all the best artwork from the junior and senior class of the previous year. One of my art school instructors said it was the highest honor to have something selected for this annual exhibit which was used to impress future students and patrons of the arts. My school was accessing my art work to sell itself at the same time it required me to build a portfolio. “Oh, and by the way, we keep it for a year, and it might get lost or stolen; but there’s nothing you can do about it.” Ah, creativity—where’s the way around this boulder?

There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody.Florynce Kennedy

Weenie1.jpgThe Columbus College of Art and Design is located in what ad agencies call “Middle America.” They call it this because it’s the perfect demographic for polling a cross section of the nation. Hustler Publisher Larry Flynt bought the mansion next door to the Columbus School for Girls to irritate the prudes in Bexley, topless bars were not allowed to serve mixed drinks on the premises, my friend Darryl Browning threw a pie in Governor Rhodes’ face at the Ohio state fair, the State Attorney (who tried to put Darryl in jail) was arrested buck naked outside a German Village motel (after his mistress locked him out around midnight) but male models were required to wear G strings because Ohio law mandated it. All male nudity is considered indecent exposure, no matter what the circumstance. In Ohio, you better keep your pants on even if it’s on the operating table. Darryl's pie throw, by the way, was precise and on the nose. I could not resist seating them across from each other at dinner one night; the conversation was positively vibrant.

FIGS.jpg To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.Don Schrader

With all this inhibited yet blatant sexuality, my first job interview was with Playgirl Magazine (read how that happened here). It was my junior year, my illustration teacher kept my first illustration of Merlin confronting the Sunflower and I wasn’t working this hard to help him stockpile my work. Then the solution hit me; what didn't they want to see? Ah-ha. I would include at least one full frontal nude male in each of my illustrations. Of course, at age 19 I didn’t have a ready explanation for this sudden influx of wieners and buns, but then my instructor provided it, “I understand you’re preparing your portfolio in the hopes of working for Playgirl.” Thank you very much— work’s for me if it works for you.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.Rita Mae Brown

nuts.jpgHide that Salami. My portfolio looked pretty good, including a generous supply of editorial illustration. Spending three to six hours a week with a nude model in figure drawing and painting wasn’t sexual; it was hard work in charcoal and terra cotta pencil under the driving whip of Dennis Drummond (a graduate of the Cleveland Institute of Art). Mr. Drummond was another teacher I admired (along with Jeff Link); and I showed him my latest editorial illustration which employed all the anatomy and figure drawing he taught me. “Fantastic planes in space, Kirkland, but you know, the left testical always hangs lower than the right.” How would I know that? Is that something we covered in anatomy? No, it was something we covered up in figure drawing.” Point taken.

Small is the number of people who see with their eyes and think with their minds.Albert Einstein

BANANA.jpgZip Up that Zuchinni.That same year, I showed my book to an art director at a small ad agency downtown and his comments got icy cold when faced with the same full frontal nudity. “I don’t think this is necessary, it’s distasteful.” I was very polite and asked, “Would you think it’s distasteful if it was a female nude?” He stopped to think, realized his prejudice and recovered quickly, “No, you’re right. I wouldn’t find it distasteful if it was female. I’ll have to think about this.” Then he gave me my first freelance assignment.

melon.jpg If you think I'm making this up, let me remind you that truth is always better than fiction. Right now it’s cool to be retro, enjoying the music of Hendrix, Morrison, Cream and Buffalo Springfield. Hippies are in; only difference is free love is dead. But those times were difficult to live in if you were the second sex, the other color, the wrong shape or on the other side. We still live in a time where it's okay to flaunt your tomatoes and melons, but in poor taste to show off your bananas and walnuts. This is the same double standard that interferes in accessing information freely (aka education). Isn't it time we changed this bias? Artists have always been a strong social conscience for change. You may not think of yourself as an intellectual, but all artists have abundant intellectual capacity and thinking ability, perhaps better expressed visually. Assume your rightful position, artist, and let's do a little sculpting on this society that's evolving.

. . . least of all should an intellectual be there to make his or her audiences feel good: The whole point is to be embarrassing, contrary, even unpleasant.Edward Said 1994

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you enjoyed this article, you'll enjoy my book, too, because it's filled with great links and a full spectrum of experiences that will prepare you to face the unknown in freelance and the world of design. Even if you've been freelancing for years, you'll find new information and a trustworthy mentor to stand by your side through thick and thin in Start and Run a Creative Services Business. Excerpts are available online at my website. Technorati Profile

7 Comments

Nice and entertaining reading. Sometimes the quote in the middle were a bit distracting or unsettling. Can't really pinpoint which one...But it is good to have an insight in one's profession.

Many Thanks,
HD.

The quotes provide a plateau to rest and refresh your palate between courses.

David Paisley said:

Susan,

While I'm all for Wieners and Buns Stateside or internationally, I think you mean "Wieners," which comes from "Wien," Vienna. "Weiners" on the other hand might mean wine-drinkers or whiners, since the German verb "wein" means to cry, and the German noun Wein means wine.

As one who tries to put together art and type, this is one of those things like "Ceasar" salad, that irks me beyond all proportion.

David

Good catch! I was under the marketing influence of the Weiner Department store's weekly flyer. Thanks for snapping me out of it.
SDK

Richard Laurence Baron said:

Melons! Melons! They're okay!
Bigger! Better! Every day.

A new radio jingle from a plastic surgery group here in Houston? Well, no use "weining" about it. Love from TX...RLB.

Great article Susan, I find the relationships entertaining. This double standard of decency is nothing new, it was also true in the academic art period in France. Female artists had to struggle to get taught from the nude figure, but all the male artists loved using female nudes...ie Venus of Urbino. Good stuff

Douglas Eby said:

Joni Mitchell made an interesting comment about changing her artform of choice: “I believe a total unwillingness to cooperate is what is necessary to be an artist -- not for perverse reasons, but to protect your vision. The considerations of a corporation, especially now, have nothing to do with art or music. That's why I spend my time now painting. When money meets up with art, there is a lot of pain, and it's the pain of ignorance, and I don't want to meet up with that ignorance again." [Los Angeles Times, Sep 5 2004]

Robert said:

You might want to check with the Columbus College if you haven't already. I think the "no male nudity" was changed several years ago. In other words, no more g-strings.

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