Suits 101
The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
P. J. O'Rourke
Cookie cutter conformity--that's what Wall Street old timers call it. Advisors suggest entrepreneurs stick with the suit formula or wardrobe eccentricities may be read as nonconformist tendencies. Thinking outside the box may prejudice potential investors. It's okay to be creative, but not with other people's money. French cuffs, a full Windsor knot in that red silk tie, bracers, a big name designer suit and wingtips are de rigueur on bullion avenue in New York City. It's the uniform of fiscal responsibility and helps birds of a feather recognize each other.
Things do not pass for what they are, but for what they seem. Most things are judged by their jackets.
Baltasar Gracian
"Look, I just can't work with another engineer. They drive me nuts," words of referral from a fellow designer, "You take them. I don't want them." Most engineers (chemical, structural or software) fall into the micromanager category and are complete control freaks. "You can't do that," and "no, just make it look exactly like this one" are catchphrases in a field of professionals who are paid to think within strict, traditional parameters. Perish the guy who advocates pushing the envelope; these guys are the antithesis of creativity, 2-dimensional or otherwise. I was not looking forward to meeting another pack of conservatives. Portfolio in hand, I headed out to meet them. The office looked like a bank, with marble floors and fabric wall covering. An Armani black pinstripe worsted wool met me and heralded me into a large conference room. A dozen or so other suits, some from the Men's Warehouse, some from Joseph Banks and one silk from Hong Kong made themselves comfortable around the massive burled wood table. I introduced myself, said a few choice words about each portfolio piece as I held up the mount board and passed it down the long row of well tended, well manicured hands. I added details of the project's initial challenge and the successful resolution. The room was completely silent, giving me absolutely no read on my reception. As the last board made its way back to me, the head of the firm stood up and said, "Well, your work is excellent and I'm delighted that you had time to show it to us. And may I add, and I think everyone will agree with me on this, that it is a pleasure to finally meet someone in your field with a brain." The first job they gave me was a brochure from a competing firm. They required exactly the same brochure, only with their name on it. For the duration of our relationship, I would recommend gently that they should develop their own identity instead of copying someone else's. They persisted, steadfastly reproducing an exact replica of the other firm's brochure year after year (and I mean right down to the paper stock and font).
Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun.
George Scialabra
Over the years, I have learned that when the room grows silent, the audience is wrapped up in emotional awe. Noncreatives are at a complete loss when you involve their emotions. They seldom dip into their creative centers, so becoming enthralled in creative display captivates their right brains so much, it's difficult to navigate back to speech and logic functions. Very nice compliment, that stunned silence, and one they can't control. Look for it and enjoy the moment when it happens to you.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss
Working with a medium sized company with a strong growth through acquisition strategy exposed me to a wider range of suits. One such hostile takeover pushed the main product to the forefront for identity development and an introductory ad campaign. Pitching an idea to a hostile takeover is always an adventure, especially after they just paid $25,000 to their favorite ad agency to come up with something and they failed. The Chief Executive Officer and the Chief Operating Officer required a private presentation of whatever I designed prior to a presentation at an acquisition. I presented the logo for a product named SmartCart. Both guys chimed in their praise, admiring the simplicity of the design. As I reorganized the boards for the big presentation down the hall, the CEO pulled me aside and said, "So, we were wondering what the significance of the A plus was?" I'm sure my face said you have GOT to be kidding as I answered him, "Remember when you did particularly well in school and got an A plus?" He looked at me and laughed, "Oh, that explains it. We only got Cs."
I think the world is run by C students.
Al McGuire
There were two prime directives from the C students in the executive suite: 1) No purchases by acquisitions without prior approval, and 2) no new project starts. The first order of business after an acquisition is seize the check book. So when an offsite secretary called and requested "camera ready art on the corporate logo" I ran it by my boss, the CEO, noting that no one needs camera ready art unless they are buying print. "Do not send it," he said.
A couple of days later, a very livid, cookie cutter suit called. He introduced himself, asked me "who in the hell are you to interfere in one of my projects?" As Director of Advertising, I was responsible for all print, so next he demanded to know my qualifications to hold my job. There was a long silence after I listed them. After a minute or two, I said, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" He huffed into the phone, "We're going to start a clean sheet of paper, you and I," he said threateningly. "I wasn't aware we had a sheet going, Jack. Give me a call if there's anything I can help you with." Click.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Winston Churchill
Suits must think just any old artsy fartsy flake can do design; afterall, they took art, too. The first time a suit questioned my qualifications it was an engineer, naturally. As jobs left my desk, they were accompanied by a purchase order written by a purchasing manager. The purchasing manager decided she preferred a tan pseudo parchment cover stock with a cheesey mottled blue text sheet for the interior, and changed my specifications. I returned the purchase order and requested she stick to the original stock specified; Blue Classic Linen Cover with Lithofect Offset Enamel for the guts. A software engineer waved me into his office as I passed his open door. He told me the purchasing manager was really upset that I had changed her paper specifications. "Who in the FRELL* made you the frelling queen of aesthetics?" "I'm pretty certain it falls under my job description as Director of Advertising," I said. "What qualifies you to hold that job?" he said in his best discrediting tone. "Perhaps my degree in advertising design from the number three art school in the country; or perhaps my 15 years of experience in print design or simply my excellent aesthetic sense," I said calmly. He turned a sheepish shade of white, glanced at the floor for a moment and said with some humility, "I would say that qualifies you. My mistake."
The world is governed more by appearance than realities so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.
Daniel Webster
So it's safe to say a suit might be a warning sign of micromanagement well beyond training, profession and judgement without fair consideration. Truly the suit doesn't make the man; in fact, it's a dead giveaway that cookie cutter conformity is probably hidden deep in the recesses of an obscure reinforced seam. "Shake up me bones" shouted Mr. Smallweed in the recent PBS production of Charles Dicken's Bleak House, and it seems part of our job to do the same: Shake up corporate conformity and staleness. Push them kicking and screaming into the unknown at the same time we dispel ridiculous prejudices about professionals in the design field.
A normal person is the sort of person that might be designed by committee. You know, each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray.
Alan Sherman
*Frell, an artificial curse word created by the writers at Farscape to replace the common English acronym for Fornication Under Command of the King which some cultures consider highly offensive; though few of them know the source. Ignorance amiss, not bliss.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you enjoy my blog, you'll enjoy my book even more. It's filled with all the characters I've met and a full spectrum of experiences that will prepare you to face the unknown in freelance. Even if you've been freelancing for years, you'll find new information and a trustworthy mentor to stand by your side through thick and thin in Start and Run a Creative Services Business. Excerpts are available online at my website. This is the book I needed when I first started out.
Great piece. However, I must point out that the etymology of F**K is actually a common misconception. The word goes way back to Anglo-Saxon, and derives most probably from "fecken" which is early germanic. It most certainly WAY predates the word "fornication", actually! As well as the construction of that phrase, which appears to be 18th century earliest.
Oh, Dooley. Your 1500 year old Roman coins are rubbing off on you. Thanks for the research, you kiwi.
For what it is worth, I have made it part of my practice to "spray my territory" (if you'll forgive the image) when beginning projects with engineers - which class constitutes a good part of my client base. That means referring to other industry-related experience in my opening remarks. Sometimes this is subtly done; sometimes not so. But I am always amiable. This method seems to work most of the time. I find that I can usually get engineers on my side. It's the in-house PR people who most frequently are the Spaniards in the works. Nevertheless, I suggest reading an old book, "Corporation Man," by Antony Jay. (Not the downloadable single by Bravecaptain.) This is a 35-year-old work that I have in my library and one I believe contains observations that are still relevant today. If you can ever get hold of a copy, you might boggle at its contemporary sensibilities.
Immensely enjoyable. Reminded me of my days in advertising - dealing with suits at the clients end...who always seemed to know better than the agency.
My favorite memories include: "Gee, how about lowering the price? We didn't need it to look that good. You did all that extra work for your own artistic-image!" Yea, right.
Excellent. I still can't speak as my temper chokes me if any one has the gall to ask for my qualifications. 14 years with most of the biggies and graduate from the best Mass Comm outfit in town plus a few awards. My martial arts background allows me to give a look that freezes blood (in my overactive imagination)... nah I normally behave like a bloody idiot, so its nice to read how it can be done in such a controlled way.
Regards,
Dev
Great insight into this biz, and awesome storytelling.
Part of the problem is that the corporate environment is ruled by fear and politics, which leads to conformity and keeping one's head down...not something most creatives can tolerate for long. After many, many years in the corporate world, I could not possibly bring myself to go back. Not to the agency world either, which is often just a variation on the same theme.
Independence is bliss, just takes a little more bizdev effort.
NIce job.