Separations
My dad was 17 when his father took him to the factory, “This is my son. Give him a job.” Dad worked at that factory for thirty-six years, always on time and always with great loyalty. He never understood my life choices, and kept his doubts to himself, except during the inevitable separations.
The first time I got canned, it was the end of the world and I was convinced I would never work again. I worked for a freelancer who was irritated that I had no experience with spray mount, unhappy with my matt cutting ability, and generally displeased with my untidy workspace. When he told me to work up roughs for a logo, I quickly filled 5 sheets with over 100 ideas, which knocked his socks off. The next day, he let me go because he was afraid I might take his clients. Once I invited my bank manager boyfriend to a weekend in NYC. “But the plane might crash. I could buy a new washer with that plane fare.” “Stay home,” I said, “and wait for what might happen. I'm going to New York.” He was fired by me.
I spent one summer pasting product numbers under pictures of washers, dryers, refrigerators and stoves. When the big clip book was finished, so was my job. Oh, the uncertainty of it. My father just shook his head and prayed for the best. I took my few months of production experience to the big ad agency. They had the bus company, a famous sausage and some industrial. I was delighted to learn they used wax instead of spray mount; mortified that I had to clean the stat machine, and frightened to death of the shotgun headline setter. After a while, I had to train a new guy. Then I was sacked--positively in tears. The creative director explained a few of the finer points of my separation--the one position was being given to a client's son. There was nothing wrong with my work--it was politics. Could I smell the coffee? Yeah, less than aromatic.
I took a job as art director at a national company and doubled my salary. The head of the company “just loved” my work; he raved on and on to his new wife until she could stand it no more. He introduced me to her at a cocktail party and said, “I want you to decorate our new mansion because my wife has no taste. Come by next week.” Uh-oh, did he really say that in front of her? Yep, I was history. And there it was; it finally hit me. (Actually, the curb hit me--I was so distracted, I forgot to put the car in park and whacked my nose on the steering wheel.) Enough is enough. So I raised my mouse and shouted, “Freedom!” in the loudest voice I could muster. If you haven't heard, the term freelance was first used in Sir Walter Scott's, Ivanhoe. He coined the phrase to describe a “lance” for hire. Freelancers carry their own burdens and create their own treasure, hardy-har-har.
The printers, typesetters and photographers I knew rallied around and started sending me work--I had more than I could do. Clients started calling and referred me to their business friends. The hardest part of the transition was facing the unknown--Where's the rent coming from? Unknown. Where's the car payment coming from? Unknown. And so forth--I could definitely smell the coffee now--it was pungent and sweet.
From time to time, I would terminate a client. It felt a whole lot better than getting terminated and I sure didn't miss that sinking feeling. I discovered I was no longer beholding to someone else for my living. I enjoyed reaping not only the fruits of my labor (cha-ching $$), but credit for the work I did. With each assignment, I built my business, my client roster and my portfolio; I wasn't working to build someone else's legacy or reputation. When I showed my book to new clients, there was never a question about what part I played in the project; heck, I did everything--I'm FREELANCE.
The last time I was fired, it was comic relief. The owner stood in my office staring at me for a while. Finally, I looked up at him and said, “Yeah, it's not working for me either, but if you want to fire me, you're going to have to actually say the words.” Remember things are not always what they seem and separations aren't always about you. Our success is measured by the depth of the race we run: Chasing your passion and accumulating new experience creates constant personal and professional growth, and growth is the fruit of our labor--juicy, delicious, passion fruit. Just don't let someone else steal your fruit. If you get the axe, or you're canned, fired, sacked, terminated, dismissed, discharged or even euphemistically, laid off; don't despair because your new found freedom may just be the spark you need to change your life. The perfection we seek as designers sometimes gets in the way of living a good life; we're here to make mistakes, get beat up, show the bruises and grow, personally and professionally. British poet Christopher Loge said it best in Come to the Edge.
Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It's too high.
Come to the edge.
So they came and he pushed . . . and they flew.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you enjoy my blog, you'll enjoy my book even more. It's filled with all the characters I've met and a full spectrum of experiences that will prepare you to face the unknown in freelance. Even if you've been freelancing for years, you'll find new information and a trustworthy mentor to stand by your side through thick and thin in Start and Run a Creative Services Business. Excerpts are available online at my website. This is the book I needed when I first started out.
Two things about firing:
1. If you know your company is having layoffs, and someone tells you "the boss wants to see you" in his office, just don't go!
2. Everyone, about 250 people including me, were let go by a particular company on the same day.
The company decided it was going to be charitable about it so every canned employee was sequentially told about his dismissal. The personnel person called me in and said: "Mr. Silverman, we're going to have to let you go." He looked at me and commented that I didn't look surprised by his statement.
"I would have been more surprised if I hadn't seen about 150 people just now, crying in the hallway," I responded.
If you like comedy and satire check out my website by clicking on my name! We're shameless!
Speaking of politics. I got fired from my first full time job because one of the other employees heard me discussing how easy it would be to duplicate video tapes and bring them back with no one the wiser. Yes this was awhile ago.
Not that I had done any such thing nor had I intended to. I actually purchased 2 copies of the same tape. One as a gift and one for me. However the other woman, having only heard what I'd said, had reported me to loss prevention for the corporation. And they indelicately fired me for something I had NOT done and best of all, they did it on my birthday.
Lesson learned: Bookstores and I don't work well together. :)
Thanks for the great blog post Susan. Hopefully I'll find something better while I'm on seasonal layoff. :)
When I look back on the long list of jobs I've had (16 of them before I went in the army at 22), I've only been fired twice and laid off once. They were always learning experiences because they caught me by surprise, and it wasn't until I was gone that I realized how much I wanted to leave. When I was 17, I was fired for doing exactly what the boss told me to do. I learned that even doing the right thing won't save you. However, since it was two weeks before school, and summer was quickly fading, I went gladly.
The second time was caused by lack of training and skill. I learned I can't do everything--there are jobs out there that I don't have a clue how to do and that's humbling.
Poor management caused my layoff. This taught me that sometimes we stay in a job just because it is there. The biggest thing about separation is that we always feel bad, even when it was the best thing in the world for us. Like herbivores, we are interested only in grazing, and never lift our head to look around. As long as the grass is green and sweet, we ignore everything else. Only when the grass is forcibly ripped from our mouths do
we see there are other pastures, with better grass and a more interesting view. If we had not been forced to look up, we would be complacent forever.
Everyone who has lost their job needs to look around and see their options, and do whatever they can. It will be better for them in the long run. See it as a time of choices. Take the time to look over all the choices before you jump at the first one.
Bob Simes
Employment Counselor
It reminds me for some reason of the only full-time job I ever had--as an "idea generator" for a planned interactive museum devoted to computers, something called Exploracom. Well, after a few months of this, all bright eyes and bushy tailed, word came down that funding had been pulled and we were all out in the street, one week before Christmas, with no pay. So much for security. I look on it now as a positive thing, since it led to so many new initiatives. Although at the time.
Susan, your post touched me - because of the story about your father. After he came out of the Army in '45, he had a number of jobs, from bartender to furniture salesman, but he was never very happy about any of them.
So he quit and became his own boss - restoring antiques. Until he died far too young, he was the happiest man I knew. He had his craft, his skills, his tinkering time - his shop was one of Swift & Company's first trial sites for what became epoxy cement.
Completely unlike him, when I came out of the Navy 27 years and two wars later, I immediately went to work for an advertising agency. I was never fired, never let go. Yes, I moved upward from job to job and - as you know - spent the last 20+ years at the same agency as its Creative Director.
Because I was afraid to fly. I realize now I missed some of the freedom and the adventure my daddy had, but I've got them now. Better late than never -- I just have to take advantage.
RLB
The only time I have been fired it filled me of anger and I have not gone over it since it happened four years ago. I felt it was not fair, my work and effort was not apreciated and the boss wanted me to solve whole projects even when he hired me as an intern.
I must confess I'm scared of being employed because I feel that I'm not going to fill the expectations of my employer. I have been working by my own the last two years with enough luck to remain in the business but I still can't get the income a good job would provide me so once in a while I feel tempted to quit my freelancing and look for a job.
Hi Susan,
I feel like I personally needed to read that post. Thank you for sharing those experiences, and for the words of encouragement that just rang so true with me.
I was going to respond to you privately, but decided that it's important to me to acknowledge the impact your post just had on me. At first I wished I had read it on Thursday evening when I needed such encouragement, but now I'm glad I didn't. I feel like I found balance on my own, and your words of experience and encouragement have just solidified what I knew in my heart already.
Getting yelled at on Thursday was the final straw for me. Even though it's sorted out now, and I was never in danger of being fired, I made a decision that I was going to follow my heart as a direct result of that conflict.
Thank you for your insight!
Sarah